Blessings and Failures

I was just thinking the other day while I was mowing my yard of how much I love my kids, my wife, and my life. I am truly and wonderfully blessed. It is wonderful being a Dad because you get to share so much with your kids and teach them. I so truly love them and care for them. My wife, well she is just amazing to me. She has a drive about her and a presence that is just so fulfilling. She deeply loves me and I deeply love her. No amount of riches can fulfill my hearts desire as what God has blessed me with.

I would be a liar if I didn't say that I have failed in this life. At times, I have been very disappointing to God, my wife, and I am sure my kids. But with those let downs, they have forgiven me. They still love me and care for me. It didn't justify my actions or lack thereof, but I have trusted in God's love and grace in times of trials and circumstance to get me through it. I have done well and then fallen. Got back up, and fall again. But the one true thing through the whole process is that I didn't give up. I will NEVER give up. God has a plan for me. It is great!! Not "I am a Super Star" great, but a triumphant, blessed, disciplined great. It is not about my works, my devotion time, my church life that I get God's love or attention. But it is my faith in him. My passion to serve, my love for him, and my commitment to do his will. I am not perfect, I am a sinner. But I am saved by his grace alone. He is the love of my life. Though I will sin and fall short from time to time, he is there to bring me back to him. It is his love for me that keeps me on track not what I can do, but what he can do through me. God give me the strength I need to keep pressing forward to do your will and to know that it is not my will, but yours that is done. For all of you who I have let down, or sinned against, I am sorry. I ask for your forgiveness and that we would encourage each other to receive the greatness that God has for us.

Your Brother in Christ,
Ben

Five Minute Blog About Nothing

I only have five minutes so here it goes. Today I asked God to protect me. To be my source and my passion in all things. I have faith in this although I am a sinner. I know that his love runs deep, and that until I trust in him, true transformation cannot take place. It doesn't matter how much I witness, give to the poor, give to the Church, how much time I spend in prayer...etc. It matters how much I trust him. I will never be good enough. I never will be strong enough. Though I do try and work to be righteous, I know that I am human. I will make mistakes but I will trust in God that he will speak into my heart transformation and love and will lead me away from temptation so that my endurance will become more powerful than temptation and my will shall be God's will for me. I am finding that God is in everything; the air, work, family, strangers, most Churches and even in my enemies. I love God, and he Loves Me!!! He always will.

Community and Communication

My heart goes out to those in China this week. It is such a tragedy of what has happened. It is very devastating to know that there have been so many deaths, many who were children. Though many children miraculously survived! I hope that we all would consider in some way to help on our end. They are in fact our neighbors and we are called to love them as believers. You know, John 3:16. I have been researching different areas in which I can help through the Red Cross (http://www.redcross.com/) and World Vision. I just pray for their leaders to except our support and help to humble themselves.



This brings me to the topic at hand that has been racing around in my heart. I long for community. I also long for companionship. I get a lot of companionship through Harm and the boys. They are my life. But I desire community with other believers not just to have friends for the sake of saying, "I have a lot of friends." Far from it. Friends can let you down, they can manipulate you, they can deceive you and torment you. But we are to still love them. We are still to care for them and listen and serve with them. The reason I think friends are a good idea is that in times of trouble or trials, they should be there to help. At least good friends. Quality is important. More so than quantity! So why is it that certain people do not want any friends? Is it because they are scared of what might happen? What if something good happens? I am sure that Jesus in all his glory was hesitant about those he chose as disciples. In fact he even told them after they had been his friend and disciple for a while, "One of you will betray me!" So he knew what was going to happen, yet he still gave us the model of community. So there is an importance in community, we just have to venture out and grab a hold of it and give to it. It being relationships. Who knows, it could be well worth it in the long run. That is what faith is all about right?
So I pray that we will reach out as a nation to a country that does not trust us. Even if we are turned down, that should not stop us from loving and praying for them.