Once again this time of year is here. I am constantly reminded of how great God is. I hope and pray that 2010 will be another great year and that I will continue to grow in my faith. Life is such a short time even though parts seem to drag out. There will be trials, temptations, and growing pains. But there will also be joy, new beginnings and victories. As I/we continue to contend with economic flaws and issues as well as other issues in our great country, I hope that we all could be part of communities that are about change and solving problems. Not just for solving problems sake, but to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.
My main concern is spreading the Gospel and most importantly living the Gospel. I know I hark on this quite a bit, but it is near and dear to me. I feel like giving up sometimes to be transparent to you, but God always comes through to me. I am learning everyday to give up my life for the sake of it all. This means doing things for others that I might or we might not always want to do. Even little things matter. But to truly give up your likes, your desires, and your wants to meet the needs of others is a hard task. It is becoming easier though and I hope I continue to grow in this area. I have a passion for missiology which is living a missionary lifestyle. I try very hard, by God's grace, to live this daily. I have opportunities to do so everywhere.
I really think that Jesus had to do this from the moment he was born. He came as a baby, so he was dependent on a family. He didn't get to stay in a fancy hotel or palace, but a barn full of animals and stuff that animals produce. How many "American" moms would allow such a thing these days? So he came to give his life as a ransom for us, our sins. He could have easily established a kingdom. He had all the people backing him, and of course, God. But, he knew his mission and it was his passion and heart to see it come to fruition. Even Peter tried to stop him (Matthew 16:23) so he was constantly on mission no matter what.
So my hope is that this will serve as a reminder, this day that is. I know this isn't necessarily "the" day that He was born, but it is the day designated to celebrate with family, friends, and foe. It is every day, every week, and every year I am reminded and hope that it will continue and that others will continually serve this mission that we have been given. I love you all, and have a Merry Christmas.
Peace ><>
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thank You. All of You
As this year comes to a close, I have thought about all the people who are in my life, who have been in my life, and who will one day be in my life. I would just like to say, Thank you. Thank you for being there for me, or not. Thank you for calling me up to go hang out. Thank you for putting up with my junk. Thanks for hearing me out or not. Thank you for being my "friend" on Facebook and not making fun of me when I post stupid stuff. But most importantly, thank you for even speaking to me.
You see, we are shaped by those in our lives and that can be good or bad. But no matter what, we are inspired, corrected or cautioned by those in our lives. We have the opportunity to decide what decisions we make and to take the good the bad and the ugly and allow it to shape our futures. I am thankful of all the people who have been in my life. Those who have always and will always be there for me as well as those who have used or hurt me in the past. I am the type who doesn't hold grudges so I don't hold that in. But through forgiveness I have grown into a new person. Even those who may not care for me, I still care for them.
I am constantly learning more and more about myself and others through my own heart and what God has revealed to me. Of all the experiences I have faced and been through, I have grown into the person I am today.
So I guess what I am saying is, thank you all whoever reads this that knows me. Thank you for being in my life at one point or another and keep me in your thoughts, prayers, and heart. I am always here if you need me for anything; talking, hanging out, whatever. Let us not allow the net to be our only source of communication and connection.
peace.
You see, we are shaped by those in our lives and that can be good or bad. But no matter what, we are inspired, corrected or cautioned by those in our lives. We have the opportunity to decide what decisions we make and to take the good the bad and the ugly and allow it to shape our futures. I am thankful of all the people who have been in my life. Those who have always and will always be there for me as well as those who have used or hurt me in the past. I am the type who doesn't hold grudges so I don't hold that in. But through forgiveness I have grown into a new person. Even those who may not care for me, I still care for them.
I am constantly learning more and more about myself and others through my own heart and what God has revealed to me. Of all the experiences I have faced and been through, I have grown into the person I am today.
So I guess what I am saying is, thank you all whoever reads this that knows me. Thank you for being in my life at one point or another and keep me in your thoughts, prayers, and heart. I am always here if you need me for anything; talking, hanging out, whatever. Let us not allow the net to be our only source of communication and connection.
peace.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Considering Death
What a crazy week. My friend at work lost her husband, I took my final exams in school for the semester, Samuel my son is starting basketball and my favorite time of year is fast approaching. Breath. So in the quickness of life, I have come to realize that life is but a flicker of a candle flame. Days come and go without ceasing and kids grow up fast.
I am approaching the 30 year mark and I guess I just think of the end sometimes. Not in an unhealthy way but as a motivator to enjoy this temporary life to the fullest. To spend much quality time with my family, friends, and neighbors so as to not waste it all. I have made an effort to not be on the net as much, I maybe watch 3-4 hours of TV during the week, and I really have made an effort to love my wife without abandon or getting so comfortable that either of us are not excited about our relationship. I guess you could say I am trying with all I have to die. To myself that is. What makes me happy more than anything these days is making others happy and hopefully that they would see the joy of Christ in me through my life. Friends, acquaintances, as well as, and especially family are my top priority in servanthood. My family obviously comes first as priority. It should be the call of the Church to emphasize this heart motivation of all its members. It is what the Church of Acts was built on, (Acts 2:42-47) So we see that this was the original design of the Church. But sadly, me included, there are so many who do not live this out on a daily/weekly basis so as to care for those in need in their own church, much less in society. This is sad to me, and I am asking constantly for the Holy Spirit to convict me and change my heart on this. Like I said at my friends husband's funeral service, I don't feel sorry for you, I care about you and Tom when he was living. Sadly I am not sure if he excepted Christ before he died. But I do know that I have an opportunity to still serve my friend and her family and my co workers are with me on that. Through Tom's death, I realized that there needs to be urgency in our actions. Especially Christians. The Great Commission calls us to spread the truth of Christ to all people and to make disciples. So I feel I am not as urgent in this as I should be.
I have spent the summer trying to get to know Tom more and he really took a liking to me. He felt in his heart that Christians were all hypocrites and judgmental but he said I was different somehow. It was really Christ living in me that he saw, he just didn't know it yet. Sadly, I was not urgent enough in sharing my faith with him, though he knew my heart on the subject it was open to him. I thought this weekend of how I was going to be more proactive in our friendship, and planned on taking him dinner this week. I was on my way to talk to him when I got the call. It was all over. He passed on Sunday morning. Doing my first funeral service ever, which was his request, I did not know what to say. I spoke to the congregation about who God is and how nothing can separate us from his love. I did not say whether Tom was saved or what his fate was, but I did offer an opportunity for the family, if they haven't already, come to start a relationship with Christ and start a new life of freedom and grace.
I only spoke what God laid on my heart and I hope it resonated. I hope you who are reading this, all 1 of you, or whoever you are, if you don't have a relationship with him, just ask and you will receive. No matter what you have done, he can redeem you. For it was His death on the cross that has put us in right standing with God, that whoever shall believe and trust in Jesus Christ, will be saved and can start a new life of freedom and grace that is unimaginable. For those who have this relationship with him, I would say that we should all be urgent with our faith. We do not know the time or the place or the last breath of ourselves or those around us. The way is simple, the yoke is light. This first really spoke to me this week and I hope it does you:
I am approaching the 30 year mark and I guess I just think of the end sometimes. Not in an unhealthy way but as a motivator to enjoy this temporary life to the fullest. To spend much quality time with my family, friends, and neighbors so as to not waste it all. I have made an effort to not be on the net as much, I maybe watch 3-4 hours of TV during the week, and I really have made an effort to love my wife without abandon or getting so comfortable that either of us are not excited about our relationship. I guess you could say I am trying with all I have to die. To myself that is. What makes me happy more than anything these days is making others happy and hopefully that they would see the joy of Christ in me through my life. Friends, acquaintances, as well as, and especially family are my top priority in servanthood. My family obviously comes first as priority. It should be the call of the Church to emphasize this heart motivation of all its members. It is what the Church of Acts was built on, (Acts 2:42-47) So we see that this was the original design of the Church. But sadly, me included, there are so many who do not live this out on a daily/weekly basis so as to care for those in need in their own church, much less in society. This is sad to me, and I am asking constantly for the Holy Spirit to convict me and change my heart on this. Like I said at my friends husband's funeral service, I don't feel sorry for you, I care about you and Tom when he was living. Sadly I am not sure if he excepted Christ before he died. But I do know that I have an opportunity to still serve my friend and her family and my co workers are with me on that. Through Tom's death, I realized that there needs to be urgency in our actions. Especially Christians. The Great Commission calls us to spread the truth of Christ to all people and to make disciples. So I feel I am not as urgent in this as I should be.
I have spent the summer trying to get to know Tom more and he really took a liking to me. He felt in his heart that Christians were all hypocrites and judgmental but he said I was different somehow. It was really Christ living in me that he saw, he just didn't know it yet. Sadly, I was not urgent enough in sharing my faith with him, though he knew my heart on the subject it was open to him. I thought this weekend of how I was going to be more proactive in our friendship, and planned on taking him dinner this week. I was on my way to talk to him when I got the call. It was all over. He passed on Sunday morning. Doing my first funeral service ever, which was his request, I did not know what to say. I spoke to the congregation about who God is and how nothing can separate us from his love. I did not say whether Tom was saved or what his fate was, but I did offer an opportunity for the family, if they haven't already, come to start a relationship with Christ and start a new life of freedom and grace.
I only spoke what God laid on my heart and I hope it resonated. I hope you who are reading this, all 1 of you, or whoever you are, if you don't have a relationship with him, just ask and you will receive. No matter what you have done, he can redeem you. For it was His death on the cross that has put us in right standing with God, that whoever shall believe and trust in Jesus Christ, will be saved and can start a new life of freedom and grace that is unimaginable. For those who have this relationship with him, I would say that we should all be urgent with our faith. We do not know the time or the place or the last breath of ourselves or those around us. The way is simple, the yoke is light. This first really spoke to me this week and I hope it does you:
Monday, November 30, 2009
Nothing I've Done
I am the kind of person that does not speak his mind very often. In fact, things that bother me are typically withheld inside and I don't express them very well otherwise. I am learning how to speak my mind more often, but I still hold on to James 1:19-20 "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person h be quick to hear, i slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." I have an anger issue believe it or not. It is not very often, but I am sometimes brought to a boiling point. It is something I hate about myself. It is not righteous anger, it is the bad kind. But through prayer and other stress relievers, I have managed it. But that is my problem I believe.
I don't feel it is something I can just overcome by my own abilities. Sure I can read some books, listen to some Osteen, or even meditate, but I believe that it is ONLY by God's grace and sovereign control over me that I can overcome anything. Yeah it seems silly, stupid, or ridiculous but it is what I believe in. But how do I apply this in all circumstances? I must die to myself everyday. Live in repentance daily as Martin Luther. I cannot live in this world without being tempted in all ways, but I can walk in the Spirit daily and make a decision to follow the will of my father in all circumstances. When I let up my guard, I will surely fall and fail. But my father loves me and does not want me to fail. So I will continue to stay connected to him to his will and to his word so that I will not be blinded or near sighted. Nothing I have ever done will be or has been great, it is only God's power and doings through me. Though I am but a spec on the Earth and a nobody. This is something I rejoice in daily, but struggle with things all the same. I am a man, a husband, and a dad who wants nothing more than to rejoice and bring to light the Gospel in my life and in my home. I fail sometimes, but I will prevail with God's sovereign grace. For no one is good but God the father.
I don't feel it is something I can just overcome by my own abilities. Sure I can read some books, listen to some Osteen, or even meditate, but I believe that it is ONLY by God's grace and sovereign control over me that I can overcome anything. Yeah it seems silly, stupid, or ridiculous but it is what I believe in. But how do I apply this in all circumstances? I must die to myself everyday. Live in repentance daily as Martin Luther. I cannot live in this world without being tempted in all ways, but I can walk in the Spirit daily and make a decision to follow the will of my father in all circumstances. When I let up my guard, I will surely fall and fail. But my father loves me and does not want me to fail. So I will continue to stay connected to him to his will and to his word so that I will not be blinded or near sighted. Nothing I have ever done will be or has been great, it is only God's power and doings through me. Though I am but a spec on the Earth and a nobody. This is something I rejoice in daily, but struggle with things all the same. I am a man, a husband, and a dad who wants nothing more than to rejoice and bring to light the Gospel in my life and in my home. I fail sometimes, but I will prevail with God's sovereign grace. For no one is good but God the father.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Through Gospel Eyes
Like a tree stands firm,
It's roots grow deep.
In the midst of trials,
The hurricane sweeps.
As a child grows up,
An old man dies.
Embracing the truth,
Seen through Gospel eyes.
Changed by love,
and humbled by Grace.
Visit me now,
Within this place.
Of suffering and dying, of sin and lust.
Only you oh Lord,
Can deliver us!
Not swayed by the wind, but enriched with strength.
Oh comforter please for you I thank.
Spotless lamb, you became for us.
Atoning death, praise you I must.
Dead to sin, and alive in you.
Into your arms, I rest in truth.
My life and spirit, my whole heart lies.
As I walk through life,
with Gospel Eyes.
It's roots grow deep.
In the midst of trials,
The hurricane sweeps.
As a child grows up,
An old man dies.
Embracing the truth,
Seen through Gospel eyes.
Changed by love,
and humbled by Grace.
Visit me now,
Within this place.
Of suffering and dying, of sin and lust.
Only you oh Lord,
Can deliver us!
Not swayed by the wind, but enriched with strength.
Oh comforter please for you I thank.
Spotless lamb, you became for us.
Atoning death, praise you I must.
Dead to sin, and alive in you.
Into your arms, I rest in truth.
My life and spirit, my whole heart lies.
As I walk through life,
with Gospel Eyes.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Overcoming the Old Man
It is by God's love and grace we are found standing. Naked and unashamed. So powerless, like a new born baby. We can't walk eat, poop without the assistance of another. How could people not believe in God? He is personal, near, alive and breathing. I couldn't imagine life lived without him. We are wicked creatures. Blown to and fro by every wind and current we are caught up in. So many spend their time and energy trying to make life happen instead of living life. Moment by moment he is changing me, us. Some he has chosen to reveal himself. Some will believe but have not yet heard. That is our job. We don't always comply because we are so occupied with our self. Self? Self-is so relevant to our culture because we are so full of it. Even Christians and churches are full of self. What can God do for me? What does the stranger in my path do for me? What do my spouse, children, or government do for me? If only our hearts and lives were fully arrested and consumed with God and His plans for us. Not what He is doing for us or through us, but what he did through Jesus. This totally rocked the world, but it is so overlooked now. This changes everything. No longer are circumstances and trials consuming us, but Jesus is. It is no longer what this or that person is doing for us, it is how can I serve THEM. No longer do we ask God, what are you doing for us, but how well do I worship him with my time, money, and life.?
We start to change from the heart side out. Eventually, through much sanctification, we default to this way of living without a second guess. But it is only by God's grace, authority, and spirit in our lives that it happens. If we are not spirit led, we do not have this (HIS) mind and heart.
"And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us." (1 John 4:13)
And so it is by this I try to live life. In community with other believers as well as with non believers. Living the Gospel by example is a great witness to the world. But not only as a doer but proclaiming with our mouth. Humbly walk before the Lord Jesus and ask Him to change you, to move you, and to free you.
We start to change from the heart side out. Eventually, through much sanctification, we default to this way of living without a second guess. But it is only by God's grace, authority, and spirit in our lives that it happens. If we are not spirit led, we do not have this (HIS) mind and heart.
"And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us." (1 John 4:13)
And so it is by this I try to live life. In community with other believers as well as with non believers. Living the Gospel by example is a great witness to the world. But not only as a doer but proclaiming with our mouth. Humbly walk before the Lord Jesus and ask Him to change you, to move you, and to free you.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Contentment and Joy
Think about life for a moment. Are you/me/we content in our surroundings? Do we wish for more, better, faster, easier? I do sometimes. It seems it is easy to find contentment in other peoples lives sometimes and forget about our own. We all can and do have secret struggles and at times, for me at least, there is a sense that, "If only my life were this way or that." Would it be better I wonder? But it is in those moments that i learn contentment and satisfaction in all aspects of life. I am reminded by God and the word that when my satisfaction and joy are coming only from the World, that I have gotten off track. But the great joy in my life comes from God.
You see, I am learning that Joy is better than happiness. Happiness is a feeling unlike joy. You can be happy to one extent, and then saddened just as quickly. Joy, however, is continuous and empowering. Through junk, through pain, through heartache, and sadness comes joy (in Christ). But also in love, in prosperity, in triumph, and through victories (I don't really like that word, it sounds too Joel Osteenish) comes joy all the same. Think about this. A man(or woman) who is in Christ looses their job. They could either become bitter, enraged, or depressed. Or they could surrender their heart to Christ, and allow His will to come through. Out of that comes Joy. On the other hand, the person without joy has a harder time with such a loss. It is easy to talk about this when all is well in your life, I know. I am a firm believer however in pre-supposing something could happen. We don't know what will happen to us or what temptations we will face. But we can prepare for anything and everything through prayer and meditation on the word of God.
So, once again, I have littered the web with my thoughts and reflections. I am by no means perfect or right. I just express myself through blog because, no one else will pay attention to me. Lest I feed my own ego. So that is perfectly well and good. As I continue through this maze of life, I can only hope in and pray to the one true God in my life and ask that He would continue to radically change me, pursue my heart and bring me joy in all my circumstances. I pray for anyone who would care to read this that you would find joy and that you would pray that I would continue to fight the good fight.
Peace ><>
You see, I am learning that Joy is better than happiness. Happiness is a feeling unlike joy. You can be happy to one extent, and then saddened just as quickly. Joy, however, is continuous and empowering. Through junk, through pain, through heartache, and sadness comes joy (in Christ). But also in love, in prosperity, in triumph, and through victories (I don't really like that word, it sounds too Joel Osteenish) comes joy all the same. Think about this. A man(or woman) who is in Christ looses their job. They could either become bitter, enraged, or depressed. Or they could surrender their heart to Christ, and allow His will to come through. Out of that comes Joy. On the other hand, the person without joy has a harder time with such a loss. It is easy to talk about this when all is well in your life, I know. I am a firm believer however in pre-supposing something could happen. We don't know what will happen to us or what temptations we will face. But we can prepare for anything and everything through prayer and meditation on the word of God.
So, once again, I have littered the web with my thoughts and reflections. I am by no means perfect or right. I just express myself through blog because, no one else will pay attention to me. Lest I feed my own ego. So that is perfectly well and good. As I continue through this maze of life, I can only hope in and pray to the one true God in my life and ask that He would continue to radically change me, pursue my heart and bring me joy in all my circumstances. I pray for anyone who would care to read this that you would find joy and that you would pray that I would continue to fight the good fight.
Peace ><>
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Why Is It...?
Why is it that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? Why is it when I try to follow the rules or do it myself, I always fail? Why is it that Christians, Muslims, Atheist, Buddhist, etc... don't believe in the same thing? Why is it that Kanye West is so.. well you get the point. Why is it that little girls and boys are molested, sold into slavery, and abused in every country in the World? Why is it that we are so obsessed with celebrity gossip? The list goes on and on.
Idolatry. Not a common word in the world, but so prevalent in our culture. We are America, land of the free. Free to do what we want, as long as it doesn't infringe on anyone else. We worship money, cars, toys, games, people, celebrities and ourselves. Yet, God is kind of a kickstand for us. To some, he is just a door mat we wipe our feet on. I am totally not saying I have never fallen into this trap, or never will, but I will sure as hell try not to. But when I do try, I seem to fall even deeper. I have found that it is not by the effort I exhort, but rather my reliance on God to change my heart. Continually. Not just in the moment. When I allow myself to be captivated by what I can attain and accomplish here on Earth, I cease to rely on God. I start to worship this life, this world, this body instead of giving my life and heart to God.
What is sad to me, is that a lot of "Christians" so easily fall into this trap and profile. There are so many distorted Gospels that it is unclear to the unbelieving world who is right. And so Atheism is so huge. It is not so easy to pick apart the teachings of Jesus and the Bible narrative, but it is real easy to spot the half hearted, half faith Christian. It is harder and harder to spread the Gospel. But even harder to rebuke false teachings that some believers are being taught. Pride is so deep within our DNA that we can not see or hear the real truth.
So as I continue to live out this life, God is putting me back together from the broken state He found me. I am NOT perfect, but I strive for perfection that only a savior can bring me. I can't do it. Christ in me is the only way. So I pray everyday that God would help me to be relevant and loving in a world that doesn't love me. To not be consumed with the earthly passions and longings that take away my worship of God. I pray that I would be bold and courageous enough to share the Gospel with anyone and that I would grow in love and understanding.
Peace.
B.
Idolatry. Not a common word in the world, but so prevalent in our culture. We are America, land of the free. Free to do what we want, as long as it doesn't infringe on anyone else. We worship money, cars, toys, games, people, celebrities and ourselves. Yet, God is kind of a kickstand for us. To some, he is just a door mat we wipe our feet on. I am totally not saying I have never fallen into this trap, or never will, but I will sure as hell try not to. But when I do try, I seem to fall even deeper. I have found that it is not by the effort I exhort, but rather my reliance on God to change my heart. Continually. Not just in the moment. When I allow myself to be captivated by what I can attain and accomplish here on Earth, I cease to rely on God. I start to worship this life, this world, this body instead of giving my life and heart to God.
What is sad to me, is that a lot of "Christians" so easily fall into this trap and profile. There are so many distorted Gospels that it is unclear to the unbelieving world who is right. And so Atheism is so huge. It is not so easy to pick apart the teachings of Jesus and the Bible narrative, but it is real easy to spot the half hearted, half faith Christian. It is harder and harder to spread the Gospel. But even harder to rebuke false teachings that some believers are being taught. Pride is so deep within our DNA that we can not see or hear the real truth.
So as I continue to live out this life, God is putting me back together from the broken state He found me. I am NOT perfect, but I strive for perfection that only a savior can bring me. I can't do it. Christ in me is the only way. So I pray everyday that God would help me to be relevant and loving in a world that doesn't love me. To not be consumed with the earthly passions and longings that take away my worship of God. I pray that I would be bold and courageous enough to share the Gospel with anyone and that I would grow in love and understanding.
Peace.
B.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
No One is Good
I have a problem, a curse if you will. I don't want this to come off arrogant or prideful and it may cause you, whoever reads this (lest you feed my pride), to not really like me or care for me anymore. Here goes nothing: I am a "good" person. I did not say this about myself, I do not think this about myself, but, I am a "good" guy. This is what I hear all the time from co workers, from acquaintances, and from strangers. I am a "good" guy. I am so sick of it. I don't really go out of my way to be a "good" guy and I am NOT trying to impress people with my "good" guy attributes. But I am cursed none the less.
Here is why: I am not good. This is what I have come to realize in my spiritual walk with my creator. I am NOT good. I was born in this world NOT good. My descendants were not good. NO ONE IS GOOD! There is only one person, thing, being that is good and that is God. THE God. It is by His grace that there is anything good that comes from me or is produced by me. I can't take credit for it. We ALL are not good, believers or non believers alike. Jesus has even said it before men. If people knew the baggage, the lies, the deceit of your heart, my heart, their heart and it was revealed for all to gaze upon, would life be the same? I doubt it unless they have been redeemed by grace and have put their hope and trust and life in the hands of the only one who can save us, the only saviour worth living for, the One who died on a bloody, beat up, splintered cross. That is the only way. The world would not understand and doesn't understand this belief in the true and only God. How he could save us from being damned to hell for eternity knowing all that we have done, thought, and said in our lives that was not "good". I have baggage probably that no one knows about that I have struggled with and still do. I am quick to anger at times, I have had lust issues, I have said and thought hurtful things to people, I don't tithe like I want to, and sometimes all I can think about is what is in it for me in all circumstances. But as I live in the spirit daily, as I have pursued God and walked in His grace, many things have changed about me and still do. Not to say that I have been perfected, but I am continually changing.
BUT, once again, if I passed out a disclaimer to everyone I meet, work with, do life with before or after they get to know me, would it cause them to run? If they are a true friend, which I have just a few, they will stay I hope. If everyone leaves me, so be it. I will have ONE who will never leave me or forsake me. The thing is, I wish I could have the type of friends that would call me out, who would keep me accountable, who would be there for me when I struggle. But, that is something we as humans struggle with.
If you read this whole blog, and you are completely disgusted with me, I understand. But, just know, you, me, and the kid named Capri are liars in a since. We want everyone to think well of us. We want people to say nice things about us when we die. But for me, if I am not honest with everyone about everything, I feel like I am a continual liar and not depending on God's grace and provision in my life. I am not some Emo kid sitting on a staircase thinking "oh my life is so bad". I am saying that before you call me good, get to know me first. I am not. But Christ in me, causes me to do good things for HIS glory, not mine. So if I take credit for it, I am worshiping myself and my ability. It is all God and it is all good!
Peace
B.
Here is why: I am not good. This is what I have come to realize in my spiritual walk with my creator. I am NOT good. I was born in this world NOT good. My descendants were not good. NO ONE IS GOOD! There is only one person, thing, being that is good and that is God. THE God. It is by His grace that there is anything good that comes from me or is produced by me. I can't take credit for it. We ALL are not good, believers or non believers alike. Jesus has even said it before men. If people knew the baggage, the lies, the deceit of your heart, my heart, their heart and it was revealed for all to gaze upon, would life be the same? I doubt it unless they have been redeemed by grace and have put their hope and trust and life in the hands of the only one who can save us, the only saviour worth living for, the One who died on a bloody, beat up, splintered cross. That is the only way. The world would not understand and doesn't understand this belief in the true and only God. How he could save us from being damned to hell for eternity knowing all that we have done, thought, and said in our lives that was not "good". I have baggage probably that no one knows about that I have struggled with and still do. I am quick to anger at times, I have had lust issues, I have said and thought hurtful things to people, I don't tithe like I want to, and sometimes all I can think about is what is in it for me in all circumstances. But as I live in the spirit daily, as I have pursued God and walked in His grace, many things have changed about me and still do. Not to say that I have been perfected, but I am continually changing.
BUT, once again, if I passed out a disclaimer to everyone I meet, work with, do life with before or after they get to know me, would it cause them to run? If they are a true friend, which I have just a few, they will stay I hope. If everyone leaves me, so be it. I will have ONE who will never leave me or forsake me. The thing is, I wish I could have the type of friends that would call me out, who would keep me accountable, who would be there for me when I struggle. But, that is something we as humans struggle with.
If you read this whole blog, and you are completely disgusted with me, I understand. But, just know, you, me, and the kid named Capri are liars in a since. We want everyone to think well of us. We want people to say nice things about us when we die. But for me, if I am not honest with everyone about everything, I feel like I am a continual liar and not depending on God's grace and provision in my life. I am not some Emo kid sitting on a staircase thinking "oh my life is so bad". I am saying that before you call me good, get to know me first. I am not. But Christ in me, causes me to do good things for HIS glory, not mine. So if I take credit for it, I am worshiping myself and my ability. It is all God and it is all good!
Peace
B.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Putting Yourself on the Shelf
It is a bad feeling for some when you don't know where you are going. When you don't know what is around the next turn in life. Mine is constantly changing. It ebbs and flows like a weather map on the local news. One minute it's up and flowing, the next it seems like I am stuck in a tar pit. I think I am too hard on myself about things. Like Paul, "the things I want to do (or should do) I don't, and the things I do (mostly I shouldn't)."
But my dilema is when I try sometimes to do the things I should do. The things I am lead to do by the Spirit of God. When I try, sometimes, there is an oppose able force which is expected I guess. So I either get so upset with myself or others that I quit. Or at least put it off. I go out of my way sometimes to live the life that God has intended to me, but sometimes I guess I try too hard on my own strength to do it. I have learned there is a Gospel of glory and a Gospel of the Cross distinction that we can choose to believe in. I learned this in the book by Mark Driscoll entitled: Death By Love. It is a clear picture of the way the Christian faith should be lived out. In the Gospel of Glory, we try to do things in a way that we have control and can take credit for anything that happens. Yea we can put the ol' "I just had faith in God" tag on it, but could have been totally self reliant in the process. I believe now more than ever that my faith in God is totally surrendering EVERYTHING to Him in EVERY situation. He has taught me that nothing I do or try to do is going to be accomplished by my own strength and effort. HE is the only power that can give me the strength or the means to do anything. Anything out of that realm is self sufficiency. God wants us to have total dependence on Him alone. He wants our hearts, our minds, and our Worship to be on Him alone. Everything else is meaningless. As Paul said: "To live is Christ, and to Die is Gain."
So as I ask God to teach me to walk DAILY in humility, to totally trust in His power and that I cannot accomplish His will on my own, I hope that it spills over into others lives. I hope I don't waste my life on trying to be and do everything on my own strength. In doing so, I hope that what God wants me to be and how God wants me to live will just happen, without opposition and without ME getting in the way of HIM.
But my dilema is when I try sometimes to do the things I should do. The things I am lead to do by the Spirit of God. When I try, sometimes, there is an oppose able force which is expected I guess. So I either get so upset with myself or others that I quit. Or at least put it off. I go out of my way sometimes to live the life that God has intended to me, but sometimes I guess I try too hard on my own strength to do it. I have learned there is a Gospel of glory and a Gospel of the Cross distinction that we can choose to believe in. I learned this in the book by Mark Driscoll entitled: Death By Love. It is a clear picture of the way the Christian faith should be lived out. In the Gospel of Glory, we try to do things in a way that we have control and can take credit for anything that happens. Yea we can put the ol' "I just had faith in God" tag on it, but could have been totally self reliant in the process. I believe now more than ever that my faith in God is totally surrendering EVERYTHING to Him in EVERY situation. He has taught me that nothing I do or try to do is going to be accomplished by my own strength and effort. HE is the only power that can give me the strength or the means to do anything. Anything out of that realm is self sufficiency. God wants us to have total dependence on Him alone. He wants our hearts, our minds, and our Worship to be on Him alone. Everything else is meaningless. As Paul said: "To live is Christ, and to Die is Gain."
So as I ask God to teach me to walk DAILY in humility, to totally trust in His power and that I cannot accomplish His will on my own, I hope that it spills over into others lives. I hope I don't waste my life on trying to be and do everything on my own strength. In doing so, I hope that what God wants me to be and how God wants me to live will just happen, without opposition and without ME getting in the way of HIM.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails
OH my Sweet Carolina. How are you today?? You know, there is a lot on my mind concerning the world. How my kids are going to grow up, 10 years from now, who the President might be, what my Church will be. All interesting statements to say the least I guess. Who really cares? Who really knows? What kind of person will I be, my wife be, my friend(s) be? I am sorry to be so dramatic, but it kinda puzzles me.
In this world, money consumes and power and position reign. Freedom to me, in the American sense, is so tired. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy living here. It could be much harder and difficult in other countries, but I have bought into the comfortable life for way too long I believe. It shames me that some "Christians" claim that God has called ALL Christians to be blessed (monetarily) more so than anyone on Earth. If that is so, why are their millions of Christians who live in poverty in third world who seek God for more than just blessing their finances, but blessing their lives in their poverty of spirit, money, and community. They are going after God 4-5 hours a day before the sun comes up, underground, with no air condition, no lunch date at La Hacienda or (insert restaurant)afterwards, no hope for anything but to worship God and bring Him glory. There is no agenda on their mind to be the first in their Church but only to come and worship God. They do this at risk of persecution. They are not toting some, "God wants you to be happy, or, God wants you to be filthy rich so you can bless others." They are saying, here I am, do with me what you will, I will follow you at ANY cost.
I am the first to admit, I am a sinner. I am just as guilty as anyone to not really want to go and worship on some days. But I am changing. I am desiring more and more to take advantage of my "freedom" in America and worshiping when and where I want. It is important to do so. I owe it to them to pray with them.
I am tired of people thinking so highly of me. I am made of snakes, snails and puppy dog tails. "Oh Ben is such a good guy. He is so good." I am not good lest anyone be deceived. I don't try to be good, I just try to reflect what God has put in me. I should live a more transparent life and I am trying to. I don't try to be "bad" but I want everyone to know, I do stupid shit sometimes. I have been forgiven by the blood of Christ, but I still do the wrong thing sometimes. It is only by God's grace that I haven't lost everything.
The point in all of this is to say that, I don't want to make much of myself ever. I want to exalt the most high King Always. I don't always do that, but through His sanctifying process, He is changing me. I want to do the most good here as I can on Earth, but I do NOT want recognition for it. I do not believe the amount of MONEY I make determines HOW much good I do. It is a tool, and so am I if I believe it is the source and power of my life. SO what I am trying to say is, I want you all to know I am human. I make mistakes. I ask you for forgiveness and I ask my Father. I am living a life of repentance and I am desiring to continually change. I hope you all still love me, but if not, HE does. And that is all that matters!
Peace and Grace.
In this world, money consumes and power and position reign. Freedom to me, in the American sense, is so tired. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy living here. It could be much harder and difficult in other countries, but I have bought into the comfortable life for way too long I believe. It shames me that some "Christians" claim that God has called ALL Christians to be blessed (monetarily) more so than anyone on Earth. If that is so, why are their millions of Christians who live in poverty in third world who seek God for more than just blessing their finances, but blessing their lives in their poverty of spirit, money, and community. They are going after God 4-5 hours a day before the sun comes up, underground, with no air condition, no lunch date at La Hacienda or (insert restaurant)afterwards, no hope for anything but to worship God and bring Him glory. There is no agenda on their mind to be the first in their Church but only to come and worship God. They do this at risk of persecution. They are not toting some, "God wants you to be happy, or, God wants you to be filthy rich so you can bless others." They are saying, here I am, do with me what you will, I will follow you at ANY cost.
I am the first to admit, I am a sinner. I am just as guilty as anyone to not really want to go and worship on some days. But I am changing. I am desiring more and more to take advantage of my "freedom" in America and worshiping when and where I want. It is important to do so. I owe it to them to pray with them.
I am tired of people thinking so highly of me. I am made of snakes, snails and puppy dog tails. "Oh Ben is such a good guy. He is so good." I am not good lest anyone be deceived. I don't try to be good, I just try to reflect what God has put in me. I should live a more transparent life and I am trying to. I don't try to be "bad" but I want everyone to know, I do stupid shit sometimes. I have been forgiven by the blood of Christ, but I still do the wrong thing sometimes. It is only by God's grace that I haven't lost everything.
The point in all of this is to say that, I don't want to make much of myself ever. I want to exalt the most high King Always. I don't always do that, but through His sanctifying process, He is changing me. I want to do the most good here as I can on Earth, but I do NOT want recognition for it. I do not believe the amount of MONEY I make determines HOW much good I do. It is a tool, and so am I if I believe it is the source and power of my life. SO what I am trying to say is, I want you all to know I am human. I make mistakes. I ask you for forgiveness and I ask my Father. I am living a life of repentance and I am desiring to continually change. I hope you all still love me, but if not, HE does. And that is all that matters!
Peace and Grace.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Identity Crisis and Finding Yours
A lot has been on my mind lately. Like you really care, right? But I felt compelled and the need to share with the world. That is what a blog is for. SO, without further hesitation I will come out and say it; "IDENTITY". Everyone has one, or is trying to find theirs. True, you are born as Mr. or Ms. so and so, but it is more than a title or name. It is what you are known as or are trying to be. How do people know us? When we introduce ourselves is it, "I am Ben, and I love beer." Or, "Hi I am Ben and I play music." When people talk to us, are they really interested in us or our hearts, or do they try to use our identity or how they perceive us by our identity?
I work with a few guys that are going to be my example. One guy is a walking piece of art. He has won numerous competitions all up and down the East Coast. He is literally covered from head to toe, literally. He is a super sweet guy, but one thing I notice is that he has a hard time relating to others because of this very insignificant difference. So, when he converses with people, it is always about tattoos generally. It is never any deeper than the many colors of ink that protrudes his epidermis layer. He has a lot going on in his life. I know, I see past the outside and have talked to him. But regardless, when people talk about or mention him, it is always, hey you know Gary, the tattoo guy. It's never, Gary, the guy who would do anything for anyone. Another example is Charlie. He is spunky, contagious, likable, funny, witty, everything a person would have that draws people in. He is a singer in a cover band. I won't give my opinion of that, but none the less, he is found in that identity. It is all about our popular they are, how many shows, where they are playing next, how much they are making, etc... So when people talk to him it is all about the band never about the person. I am sure he loves that, the ego is a powerful thing. But, it is easier to mask pain, suffering, the real person in this mask of identity that we form.
So my point in all of this, what I have been pondering and wrestling with, is this. Why do we do this? I am speaking to the choir mainly. As Christians, we are to find our identity in Christ and Christ alone right?? So why is it that we find ourselves doing the opposite sometimes?? And for non believers, the same. If we are cross centered in our hearts and lives, we are able to be assured that no matter what circumstance, Jesus has our back. When we are walking in accordance with Him, then we have peace, clarity, and power. Not on our own, but through Him. Friends come and go, business opportunities, relationships, but if we are not finding purpose and identity in Christ, then we have nothing even if everything else is kosher. So just analyze your heart, your circumstance, your acquaintances and relationships. Make sure that people don't know you or me as "the musician", or "the funny guy", or "the tattoo guy". It is better to have no friends at all if you're friends are not aware of your true identity and nature.
Peace and Grace
B.
I work with a few guys that are going to be my example. One guy is a walking piece of art. He has won numerous competitions all up and down the East Coast. He is literally covered from head to toe, literally. He is a super sweet guy, but one thing I notice is that he has a hard time relating to others because of this very insignificant difference. So, when he converses with people, it is always about tattoos generally. It is never any deeper than the many colors of ink that protrudes his epidermis layer. He has a lot going on in his life. I know, I see past the outside and have talked to him. But regardless, when people talk about or mention him, it is always, hey you know Gary, the tattoo guy. It's never, Gary, the guy who would do anything for anyone. Another example is Charlie. He is spunky, contagious, likable, funny, witty, everything a person would have that draws people in. He is a singer in a cover band. I won't give my opinion of that, but none the less, he is found in that identity. It is all about our popular they are, how many shows, where they are playing next, how much they are making, etc... So when people talk to him it is all about the band never about the person. I am sure he loves that, the ego is a powerful thing. But, it is easier to mask pain, suffering, the real person in this mask of identity that we form.
So my point in all of this, what I have been pondering and wrestling with, is this. Why do we do this? I am speaking to the choir mainly. As Christians, we are to find our identity in Christ and Christ alone right?? So why is it that we find ourselves doing the opposite sometimes?? And for non believers, the same. If we are cross centered in our hearts and lives, we are able to be assured that no matter what circumstance, Jesus has our back. When we are walking in accordance with Him, then we have peace, clarity, and power. Not on our own, but through Him. Friends come and go, business opportunities, relationships, but if we are not finding purpose and identity in Christ, then we have nothing even if everything else is kosher. So just analyze your heart, your circumstance, your acquaintances and relationships. Make sure that people don't know you or me as "the musician", or "the funny guy", or "the tattoo guy". It is better to have no friends at all if you're friends are not aware of your true identity and nature.
Peace and Grace
B.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Nothing Else Matters
No not the Metallica song. Nothing else matters is the way I feel. That is when you fall in love. Certainly a far cry from Metallica. It is Valentine's day and many are out buying things for their significant other. I am actually watching my nephews for a few hours. Many are going out on a date, bringing them gifts that are completely over priced. All in the name of love. But is that really love? It is a sign of love. I guess it is in a way, I mean, it shows that you care. But is it really how some feel? Or are they just trying to get lucky? :) I am not saying that gifts are bad or that you should NOT buy ANYTHING for your loved one, but I am saying that to me, love is more than just a material gift.
Do you think that God just wants our gifts and talents and nothing more? I don't think so. I think that He gives gifts and talents for us, to use for the good of His name. If we are not willing to use our finances, our time, and our abilities for His purpose, there is something wrong. When it comes to God, nothing else matters. He is all I am concerned, obsessed, thinking about. Well, most of the time. I have to be honest and humble myself, I think about other things than God sometimes. We all do. But it has to change for me. And you. God wants our undivided attention. He wants all or none at all. He wants us to trust Him and Him alone. He wants a relationship continuous, unfiltered, and unending. When we give Him our attention, our heart, He can work the most in our lives. He doesn't want all the fake pretentious stuff, He wants our hearts, our lives to reflect Him. Nothing else should matter, because when He gets it all, He gives us everything we could ever imagine, and more. The vats are overflowing. It is not that He is taking from us, He wants to give to us.
I am not saying that we shouldn't love our spouse soo much that we give all we have to them that we can afford. God wants us to love them like Christ loves the Church. But what I am saying is, that nothing else should matter in a Christian life than to love God with all our heart. All else will work according to His will. Nothing else matters.
Do you think that God just wants our gifts and talents and nothing more? I don't think so. I think that He gives gifts and talents for us, to use for the good of His name. If we are not willing to use our finances, our time, and our abilities for His purpose, there is something wrong. When it comes to God, nothing else matters. He is all I am concerned, obsessed, thinking about. Well, most of the time. I have to be honest and humble myself, I think about other things than God sometimes. We all do. But it has to change for me. And you. God wants our undivided attention. He wants all or none at all. He wants us to trust Him and Him alone. He wants a relationship continuous, unfiltered, and unending. When we give Him our attention, our heart, He can work the most in our lives. He doesn't want all the fake pretentious stuff, He wants our hearts, our lives to reflect Him. Nothing else should matter, because when He gets it all, He gives us everything we could ever imagine, and more. The vats are overflowing. It is not that He is taking from us, He wants to give to us.
I am not saying that we shouldn't love our spouse soo much that we give all we have to them that we can afford. God wants us to love them like Christ loves the Church. But what I am saying is, that nothing else should matter in a Christian life than to love God with all our heart. All else will work according to His will. Nothing else matters.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Not Affraid of Being Alive
I got this line from a fellow NC'er and musician John Mark Mcmillan. I was listening to his song the other day and really just couldn't get the thought out of my head. You see, my mother died when I was 17. Uncle Rick, the next year. My Grandfather the next. My neice the next. And my good friend Robert this week.
I have always hated going to funerals. Not really because I didn't want to participate, but because of the sadness that usually surrounds them. I never have been to a joy filled funeral until this week. On Sunday, Febuary 1, 2009, my friend was burried. Robert was a black man by the way, but color doesn't reflect in my eyes. We are all the same. But, his Church was so spirit filled and so joyous, I was so glad I went. He was the jollyest man I ever new. He had no strangers. He loved his family, friends, work, and most important; GOD! I was so sure that he was sitting up there with God in heaven and hearing; "Well done good and faithful servant!"
This got me thinking about my own mortality. I mean, we all die somtime. Could be now, could be later, but we spend so much time thinking about the future, or lack there of, that we forget the present. How are we making an impact in our community, culture, and world?? I think more now about what kind of legacy I will leave behind. Will people remember me for my money? I doubt it, I hope not. Will people remember me for being a bad person, cheater, liar, control freak?? I certainly hope not! I want to be known as humble, a servant of God, a great father and husband, and loving. I don't want my life to be on a stage, but rather in a back drop. I don't want to be know for what I say, but more of what I do. I think that everyday I will wake up with God and ask Him to humble me. To teach me how to be the least important. I will take up my cross dailey and surrender to His will. It is not about getting to heaven for me, although I long for that day. It is about how fruitful my life is and...........................Just kidding. I am still here.
peace ><>
I have always hated going to funerals. Not really because I didn't want to participate, but because of the sadness that usually surrounds them. I never have been to a joy filled funeral until this week. On Sunday, Febuary 1, 2009, my friend was burried. Robert was a black man by the way, but color doesn't reflect in my eyes. We are all the same. But, his Church was so spirit filled and so joyous, I was so glad I went. He was the jollyest man I ever new. He had no strangers. He loved his family, friends, work, and most important; GOD! I was so sure that he was sitting up there with God in heaven and hearing; "Well done good and faithful servant!"
This got me thinking about my own mortality. I mean, we all die somtime. Could be now, could be later, but we spend so much time thinking about the future, or lack there of, that we forget the present. How are we making an impact in our community, culture, and world?? I think more now about what kind of legacy I will leave behind. Will people remember me for my money? I doubt it, I hope not. Will people remember me for being a bad person, cheater, liar, control freak?? I certainly hope not! I want to be known as humble, a servant of God, a great father and husband, and loving. I don't want my life to be on a stage, but rather in a back drop. I don't want to be know for what I say, but more of what I do. I think that everyday I will wake up with God and ask Him to humble me. To teach me how to be the least important. I will take up my cross dailey and surrender to His will. It is not about getting to heaven for me, although I long for that day. It is about how fruitful my life is and...........................Just kidding. I am still here.
peace ><>
Sunday, January 25, 2009
LukeWarm
It seems as though many times in life, we become lukewarm in what we do or who we are. Passions come and go and with little or no pursuit, can vanish like the sand on the beach. What has happened?? Life has happened, or lack there of. It is easy to be passionate about something these days with the advancement of the Internet. We can become advocates for many causes and situations such as abortion, human trafficking, environment, music, governmental policies, poverty, economy, and so on. But that is the easy part. Actually taking part in these issues and getting our hands dirty, so to speak, is another monster all together. There are two possible problems: 1. We are too consumed with our own lives(family, work, recreation, money) that we can't or really don't want to invest in our cause. 2. We are scarred, or play it safe, or not really THAT educated about a particular issue. I am not saying that none of these have ever applied to me. I am as guilty as anyone. What I am saying is, I Want To Change that about myself. And I hope you do too!!
As a believer, follower, and disciple of Christ Jesus, I really feel that it is one of the only obligations to my faith to pursue a lifestyle of "doing"!!! It has come to my attention that this can be difficult at times so I have to narrow down my "causes" to ONE: The Gospel.
Luke 3:15-16 says: "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like LUKEWARM water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit (hurl, toss) you out of my mouth." We all know what lukewarm coffee, water, or beer is like. It is useless, not good, not desirable. Therefor I should walk and live my faith out. My desire from now on is to pursue actively the Gospel in my everyday life. It is not about how many facebook friends I have or how many spirituality books I have. It is about how do I live out of faith and expectancy. How do I live in a way that I would go after what God has called me to do? How do I treat people of all ethnicity, religions, social class, and gender? How do I pursue relationships and causes or convictions. Am I living a life of faith that pushes me into uncharted waters, or am I just playing it safe all the time? Am I holding back on pursuing intimacy with God so I don't feel obligated to do anything with my life? These are questions we have to ask ourselves. Stop being a baby Christian, or a baby anything and start living out these passions. It all boils down to what and or who you are worshiping. To enjoy all that God has given us, I think we have to be hot or cold, but never LUKEWARM.
As a believer, follower, and disciple of Christ Jesus, I really feel that it is one of the only obligations to my faith to pursue a lifestyle of "doing"!!! It has come to my attention that this can be difficult at times so I have to narrow down my "causes" to ONE: The Gospel.
Luke 3:15-16 says: "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like LUKEWARM water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit (hurl, toss) you out of my mouth." We all know what lukewarm coffee, water, or beer is like. It is useless, not good, not desirable. Therefor I should walk and live my faith out. My desire from now on is to pursue actively the Gospel in my everyday life. It is not about how many facebook friends I have or how many spirituality books I have. It is about how do I live out of faith and expectancy. How do I live in a way that I would go after what God has called me to do? How do I treat people of all ethnicity, religions, social class, and gender? How do I pursue relationships and causes or convictions. Am I living a life of faith that pushes me into uncharted waters, or am I just playing it safe all the time? Am I holding back on pursuing intimacy with God so I don't feel obligated to do anything with my life? These are questions we have to ask ourselves. Stop being a baby Christian, or a baby anything and start living out these passions. It all boils down to what and or who you are worshiping. To enjoy all that God has given us, I think we have to be hot or cold, but never LUKEWARM.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I Am Right, I Am Wrong
There have been a few times in my life that I have been wrong, ok, just a couple, ok honestly, more times than I can count on two hands. I have really lost count. I don't like to be wrong. No one does that I know of. But, it still happens. Recently, I bring to mind, my marriage. I have been wrong in my marriage before. I have started arguments over being wrong many times that could have been avoided. More often than not, pride and humility don't see eye to eye. Have had to learn to humble my self in the midst of being wrong, and it is hard. In the times that I was right, I still had to extend grace and find common ground.
So why is it that as people, married or not, have a hard time in this area? Sometimes, we know we are wrong and do not want to admit it. That of course is pride. It is an ugly thing because it can cause so much bitterness if we are not careful. I think though that being wrong sometimes is not a bad thing. I mean, how can we ever learn or grow if we don't make up our mind to admit to our folly? Then can we truly walk in grace and forgivness. So why is it so hard? It is because we are human I guess.
This is also the way my relationship is with God. I have to continually walk in repentance because, there are many times that I was wrong according to His word. Not in a legalistic way, but putting other things before Him. This reflects in other parts of my life as well. God opposes the proud and loves the humble. Sometimes it is hard to admit to Him. We try to proof read and find a loop hole, but he is on to us. If we ever think we know it all, we still have to realize that we can become puffed up, proud, arrogant. So in all of this blabber, I would just like to be transparent, and admit when I am wrong. I don't have all the answers. I don't have it all together, but His grace and mercy are continually restoring my broken soul. If I just rest in Him and trust with faith that He is sanctifing me daily, I will walk with the confident assurance that He will guide me in every decision and short coming that may occur. That is one thing I know I am right about. Always.
Peace...><>
So why is it that as people, married or not, have a hard time in this area? Sometimes, we know we are wrong and do not want to admit it. That of course is pride. It is an ugly thing because it can cause so much bitterness if we are not careful. I think though that being wrong sometimes is not a bad thing. I mean, how can we ever learn or grow if we don't make up our mind to admit to our folly? Then can we truly walk in grace and forgivness. So why is it so hard? It is because we are human I guess.
This is also the way my relationship is with God. I have to continually walk in repentance because, there are many times that I was wrong according to His word. Not in a legalistic way, but putting other things before Him. This reflects in other parts of my life as well. God opposes the proud and loves the humble. Sometimes it is hard to admit to Him. We try to proof read and find a loop hole, but he is on to us. If we ever think we know it all, we still have to realize that we can become puffed up, proud, arrogant. So in all of this blabber, I would just like to be transparent, and admit when I am wrong. I don't have all the answers. I don't have it all together, but His grace and mercy are continually restoring my broken soul. If I just rest in Him and trust with faith that He is sanctifing me daily, I will walk with the confident assurance that He will guide me in every decision and short coming that may occur. That is one thing I know I am right about. Always.
Peace...><>
