Nothing I've Done

I am the kind of person that does not speak his mind very often. In fact, things that bother me are typically withheld inside and I don't express them very well otherwise. I am learning how to speak my mind more often, but I still hold on to James 1:19-20 "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person h be quick to hear, i slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." I have an anger issue believe it or not. It is not very often, but I am sometimes brought to a boiling point. It is something I hate about myself. It is not righteous anger, it is the bad kind. But through prayer and other stress relievers, I have managed it. But that is my problem I believe.

I don't feel it is something I can just overcome by my own abilities. Sure I can read some books, listen to some Osteen, or even meditate, but I believe that it is ONLY by God's grace and sovereign control over me that I can overcome anything. Yeah it seems silly, stupid, or ridiculous but it is what I believe in. But how do I apply this in all circumstances? I must die to myself everyday. Live in repentance daily as Martin Luther. I cannot live in this world without being tempted in all ways, but I can walk in the Spirit daily and make a decision to follow the will of my father in all circumstances. When I let up my guard, I will surely fall and fail. But my father loves me and does not want me to fail. So I will continue to stay connected to him to his will and to his word so that I will not be blinded or near sighted. Nothing I have ever done will be or has been great, it is only God's power and doings through me. Though I am but a spec on the Earth and a nobody. This is something I rejoice in daily, but struggle with things all the same. I am a man, a husband, and a dad who wants nothing more than to rejoice and bring to light the Gospel in my life and in my home. I fail sometimes, but I will prevail with God's sovereign grace. For no one is good but God the father.